What Does It Mean To Be A Man

What does it mean to be a man? Or is the better question what does it take to be a man? I get so confused some times because I don't know what this society wants from a nigga bro. Is there more to being a man than being macho? Does He have to be able to bench press 300 pounds ? Or is 225 pounds just enough? How many push ups he gotta be able to do or sit ups do he gotta be able to do before he's considered a real man? How many bitches does a man gotta fuck before he's considered a man?  Should I wear designer clothes or nah? How much should my shoes cost on average? I pay $30 for a T-shirt but it ain't Ralph tho. How many inches does his dick gotta be before he's considered a real man? Sometimes I feel like my generation is lost out here fam. Does the size of my bank account make me a man? What if I don't have enough money? Should I feel inadequate and inferior because the other man drives a better car than me or can play basketball better than I can? Shit what if I don't have a car at all? When I go clubbing with my friends what if I don't pop enough bottles? How many bottles do I have to pop before I convince society and myself that I am a man? How many degrees I gotta own? If my chick got a PHD and I only got a masters is she better than me? Am I less of a man? Do she wear the pants in our relationship?  Should my girl still respect me if I'm not earning as much as her best friend boyfriend? How can I look at myself in the mirror and call myself a man if I can't meet up to the standards I see society setting for me everyday? They keep switching these rules up on me cuh. I log unto my twitter and I see a different standard everyday saying a 'A real man does this or does that, a real man eats eggs, a real man drinks vodka straight, a real man can do 100 pushups. A real man can change a tire, like sheesh.  Again I ask. What does it mean to be a man? What does it take to be a man? 
I'm not Sway I ain't got the answers Bruh. But in my own personal journey I've learned that a man takes responsibility whether it be for his life or for the welfare of his loved ones. But what if my wife gets cancer and I can't cover all her hospital bills? Does that make me less of a man? What if my son wants to go to Harvard and I can't afford to pay for his tuition have I failed as a man?  What if my wife earns more than I do? Should I feel some type of way about that? What will my friends say? What will society say? Truth of the matter is I don't know what it means or takes to be a real man. I ain't got the answers I'm just living this life one day at a time trying to gain some understanding. I guess at the end of the day it takes a 'real man' to admit "I don't know shit", I'm just Tryna live bro. I want my life to have meaning, I wanna live for a purpose greater than myself.. I guess at the end of the day all I really know is that this life is just a pot of beans. 

EMOTIONAL RECOVERY

This whole post may sound jumbled and incoherent. Forgive me, I’ve been suffering from writer’s block but I wanted to quickly put down my thoughts on this particular subject of Emotional Recovery. 

Emotional Recovery or Emotional healing as others call it is very important before you get into another relationship or find yourself dating. I always found myself jumping into one relationship after another, I never gave myself time to heal from the last one before jumping into the next one. My homie tried to warn me to chill and take a break for a bit but I never listened to him. This post is primarily inspired by my last relationship and how my failure to take time out to recover emotionally eventually led me to hurt a woman i truly cared about. Here was a woman who would have walked to hell with me if I had asked her, she loved me and she would have followed me into the abyss if I had asked her to. I never recovered from my last relationships before I got with her and the truth is when you are emotionally tapped out, when your emotional gas tank is on empty, no matter how much you care for the other person you can’t love them like they need you to. Little sentimental things that make up a good relationship become a chore, texting her good morning, texting her I love you, leaving cute voicemails. It seems like the other person is the only one pulling their weight in the relationship. 

Spend time recovering from past relationships before jumping into a new one. You may find yourself giving only 50% in the relationship while your partner is giving 100%. I hadn’t recovered 100% and anybody could have seen that but sometimes some women and men would rather have a 50% version of you than not have you at all. In this generation were “titles” mean everything, the rush to have an official title of boyfriend or girlfriend leads people to jump into relationships that have no solid foundation. 

Personally, I got tired of seeing the look of disappointment in her eyes when she realized I wasn’t pulling my weight in the relationship. It always seemed like she was the only one investing more in the relationship. I couldn’t give what i did not have to give and the resentment that she came to have for me eventually led to a bad break up. If I could go back and change anything I would never have gotten into a relationship with her until I had healed properly. I would not have rushed anything, I would take my time getting to know her. Sometimes you end up hurting people you never really set out to hurt. 

In conclusion, don’t rush getting into a new relationship after you just got out of an old one. Take your time, get to know yourself a little better and recover.